Chapter 2: Mason's parent teacher conference

The majority of my concerns for my son have been based on his reading difficulties. I won't lie about it. His dad and I are quite honest and speak openly with him about it. It's no secret he knows he can't read as well, as fast or as much as his classmates. Sadly, he felt it worse about it when we retained him for another year in Kindergarten. To put it mildly, IT SUCKED.

Mason knew his friends went on without him. He was literally hiding from them when fall rolled around the next year. Kids can be so resilient but Mason didn't see it the way we tried to explain it to him. "Another year to be a kindergartner, another year to get ready for grade school and all that homework and reading, another year to come home early and have more play time." I thought for sure he would appreciate the extra playtime well above and beyond what he thought he was missing in first grade. But No. Not Mason. He knew he was being "held-back", in that it's not you it's me sort-of way.

It was at the end of his second K year that we looked at his progress and there it was staring us in the face, in bold type, Mason had a non-year. Yeah, what I mean is he didn't make any progress from his second year of K. His teacher told us he finished knowing the same things as he did when he began. What's that all about???? First grade wasn't much better. He had three teachers but not because we have the richest school district in the area but because his fisrt teacher (tenured after 2 years & we love her) left just before Winter break because baby wasn't going to wait, (do they ever, humph). so next stepped up student teacher who was slotted to fill in during 1st teachers maternity leave anyway. But unfortunatley family crisis walked in and out walked number 2 teacher,next we had quite the revolving door of substitutes mixed-in with teacher 2 before she really had to take a leave of absence. again children, family won't wait as there is no convenient time for a family crisis. Then enter teacher number 3. She was wonderful. She stepped into those temporary teacher shoes with  poise and natural talent for being a first grade teacher. But in a few months poof first grade was over and some kids were recovering from a disjointed year.

In all fairness all our teachers that year were and are wonderful. It happens that life happens and I do feel everyone handled the teacher problems as best they could. We are happy that teacher #1 & baby turned out healthy, teacher #2 spent invaluable family time with her family during a crisis and teacher #3 was a blessing while they had her.

However, because Mason was a year older, and a year older than the majority of his classmates, there seemed to be an emphasis on testing. And LOTS of it. Still no diagnosis. Lot's of changes happening daily and no diagnosis. Finally, I was beginning to get worried. I worried that we were losing time with Mason. I worried that he need to get his reading on a level where his learning could make those priceless brain mapping connections. I asked more questions this year in our IEP. I asked about Mason's Speech and language specialist trying different techniques. Maybe Mason hit a learning plateau. I read several studies in the Stanford Journal of Medicine, a bakers dozen of education and LD books and a few trade journals to educate myself on the brand-spankin'-new discoveries being made through the FMRI brain imaging scans. There have be some fascinating findings. And I was learning to pick up on cues about my son's learning style. I was asking about specific assessments they gave Mason and why they made this decision versus that one or this one. In short, I was becoming a pest.

Second grade we had more resources in place. That sounds acceptable, and meaningful: doesn't it? Well it did to me anyway. We read with him everynight as there was a take-home reading program. Most students were finished by first grade with this program but it was no biggy to us because it gave us good books to read together and something new everyday for Mason to look forward to. Mason got to pick his take-home books from the class library so it was always something he was interested in. (Oh to be so lucky when I was his age). They were at his reading level and he was making progress. Phew! Then he started coming home complaining and exhausted about being pulled out for a special ed. reading class that was every morning for 90 minutes. Straight reading/phonics lessons along with comprehension skills, writing and tests. Mason was missing P.E. and Music everyday to add insult to injury. At least that's how Mason felt. It was incredibly embarrassing to return to class during the end of the second period and being completely out of sync with the class, the lessons and of course, his friends. Mason was so unhappy he started to complain about school and not wanting to go, getting sick (lots of stomach aches) and of course crying from time to time.

Time to meet with the team again.

"What are we talking about here?" I asked his teacher, his principal, the school psychologist who testsed him a half dozen times, and the 3 other para-professionals who worked with him on speech and language, math, and reading intervention. (I'll wait while you catch your breath)...
                               
            ...There was a lot of talking but I couldn't tell you what they said. Not because it's been a hundred years but because it was the same thing I heard the year before and the year before that. Stepping outside the bubble and looking back over those utterly confusing, and agonizing years, I wonder if I needed a specialist myself. Maybe someone to represent me in our numerous SST's (Student Study Team) meetings and IEP's (Individualized Education Plan).

I attended all those meetings alone except save one when my DH could join me. Little did I know how these administrator's & specialist's ran circles around my head speaking the speak and buzzing the buzz words but still no real tangible evidence of what the heck was going on with Mason.  

No many of us parents could sit for that? I was not convinced we were doing the right thing by Mason. I wanted him to have a positive experience in school. Learning to read is his struggle but  he will get there - no?

As the year wound down: I saw a change in my son. It was both good and sad. He was reading much better but was incredibly sad. To watch your child's spirit slowly drain away, well lock me up because I can't stand by and watch my beautiful, bright, curious, funny, inventive & compassionate son lose himself because of a few school administrator's can't target his root cause. I'll be quite candid, I began to wonder if it was more than a reading disability. Were we looking at a larger issue and didn't know it? Do WE need to prepare for a more long term learning strategy solution? Could Mason be in-line with PDD (Pervasive Development Disorder) or Asperger's syndrome? And if so we need to get a plan together quickly. Early intervention is the key so looking at Mason's needs with more long-term goals in mind. My DH and I felt we needed to find out if there was a name, a label to his LD (Learning Disability) and target proven teaching strategies to get Mason back on track as quickly as possible. You could hear the clock ticking in you head. (tick... tock...tick...tock...) Mason was losing time.
  





This FMRI photo displays under-activity neurons of a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or PDD


After our conference I was exhausted myself. And I still felt we didn't achieve our goal... What can we do to help Mason be the best learner he can be?

Thanks for reading my personal story and I hope it reaches some of you who might be feeling the same way. Is it a comfort knowing someone else is having a similar experience?...I can't answer that. Although I hope and wish the best for you and your family.

 

~Practical(ly) Mom(me)

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